omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize