So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
