i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Less talking, more tequila
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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