dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Everclear isn't food dammit
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize