Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
