Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize