Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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