I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
