His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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