Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"

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(650): View more from California

in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",

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(702): View more from Nevada

if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better

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(269): View more from Michigan

I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.

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(443): View more from Maryland

She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.

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(407): View more from Florida

Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.

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