I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
