Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize