My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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