So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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