ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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