i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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