i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
either way he was missing a nipple.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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