when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
