hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
