i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize