Your face is a jimmy john
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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