Just mADE A PArabola og urine
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
