i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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