DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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