He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
