OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
