My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
