It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
