Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All I want is dick and wine.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
