i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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