i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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