The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
