I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's blow job season.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
