you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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