question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
