Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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