the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
