i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
