I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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