YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize