you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I think my vagina is haunted
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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