Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i dont even know how to be here
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He did a backflip because drugs
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