Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
