i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
