what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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