that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Found your dick twin last night
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
