I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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