So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
