She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
