i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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