I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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