ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Say something about gay babies.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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