i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?