is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You took a bar mat shot.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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