he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?