Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.