At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
