I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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