I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
