So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
